Want to move to Beligum?

Dont.

Get yourself a copy of the smurfs cartoon movie,Tintin and buy some belgium chocolate in your hometown and wahla. You have now experienced the best Belgium has to offer. For everything else, try walking across broken glass with no shoes on and read the same book over and over and over again 10,000 times so you experience boredom, stupidity and pain that will give you an insight into modern 2013 Belgium.

Stupid Police....again..

Police have checked my passport AGAIN for the 12th time and its getting boring now. Right in the local town where I live, I think people dont recognise a new face and so keep calling the police!
sometimes the police cannot tell if my passport is real or not and it gets confiscated for weeks until finally the British embassy tells them to give it back!
I have traveled the world and lived and worked in many countries in the world, but I have never seen such a out dated backward thinking society such as the ones I find in Belgium.

Local cars only.....RETARDS

There is a sign on my road which says in Dutch, local cars only. Which looks like this...

http://static.skynetblogs.be/media/66196/dyn010_original_500_323_pjpeg_2625008_c0587d34c33f73684d452937ec58c946.jpg

When I drove a little car nobody said anything, now I drive a larger more expensive car almost every day the locals are shouting at me telling me not to drive there. Some people stand in the middle of the road, just to stop me going past. Another nutter cycling wouldnt allow me to pass because he insisted I am not a local.
HELLO!? I live here now but they seem to get upset insisting I dont live there. I get out of the car and explain to them but they still insist as Ime from England that I shouldnt be allowed to drive on my own street where I live!?!?!?! How more retarded can you get!?

Silly parking rules...

There are rules in Belgium which make parking just silly. I have seen a rule which says parking few weeks on   one side of the road allowed, until a few weeks then parking not allowed, then other side allowed. Its called the 50/50 rule. and its dumb as horse shit.If you live on a road like this you have to change your car, ever few weeks to the other side! No kidding! if not Belgium police will come out blue lights flashing and give you a 25 euro fine! .....maybe depends on how they feel its that stupid.

Motorcyclists beware!

Be careful of the dodgy roads in Belgium, if you are a motorcyclist, forget it its suicide! 

Belgium roads are like driving through Albania, big holes in the road, highways full of motorcycle death traps.

You have been warned!

Racist job interview

I once had an interview at a previous well known bank in Belgium, I wont say which company...(FORTIS BANK IN BRUSSELS! cough cough). It was the only interview i ever had where one of the interview quetsions was ....
"What is your parents ancestry?" I was shocked, I replied English, he said
"yes I can see that but specifically what ethnic race is your mother and father?"
I was so shocked that I told him that this is not be the right company for me but thanks for the invite.
So yes racism is still alive in Belgium no matter where your from or the color of your skin, if your not from Belgium be prepared for illegal interview questions.

Police rush to the crime scene!

One day I was out traveling to out of town cities in Belgium. No big deal just curious. I walk into a food shopping store one of the well known chains, I hear staff shouting at me as soon as I walked in. I dont understand what they are saying so I just smile and wave. 5 minutes later I am approached by 5 staff including the manager, all shouting at me!? I am thinking WTF? Then the owner of the store pokes me and looks like he wants to punch me!? At this point I am totally confused no idea whats going on. So eventually they all run off. 5 minutes later police arrive and also poke me! Now I am getting a little annoyed. Then finally a woman who speaks English turns up and says The shop owner says no bags are allowed in the shop, I said eh? I only had my backpack on! Then the police checked my passport id and gave me a full criminal check over. I am clean and I get my passport back.
So the news here is, Belgium police rush to crime scene, the crime? wearing a backpack in a well known food chain. The punishment? being singled out and checked over buy 6 police officers. Great use of police resources! I have never experienced that anywhere on the planet earth.
(I can tell you the name of the town and shop address if you message me)

Typical Belgium man

Remember the smurfs were invented here in Belgium? Well you will soon begin to realise why, everywhere you go in Belgium and even on tv, the most typical Belgium can be spotted. The characteristics of a typica Belgium man is, short, fat,big ears, mostache and a beer belly. If you see a belgium man looking any different from this, chances are his parents or grandparents are not from Belgium.

Shopping

In this very strange Country are very strange rules. Between 12:00 and 14:00 ALL of the shops close, I mean every shop you can imagine closes, banks, postoffice, restaurants, shops everything you can imagine stops for 2 hours every day. And if your even thinking about Sunday shopping forget it, sinday is a ghost town in Belgium.

Weird..

My first thoughts arriving in Belgium many years ago was .....how weird. everything seems to be in 1938.I felt like going back in a time machine. The peoples attitudes and intelligence match. (most I met but not all). Some are very rude but thats another story.